My inner child dries her tears and breaks a sweat

Some people need a shot of courage to step on a plane or to step up to the mic. It took all the guts I had to...walk into a gym.

I realize that sounds pathetic, but for whatever reason the first time I made it as far as the lobby, saw all the women in workout wear turn and look at me, ran back to my car and cried. I wanted to use my coupon for one free month membership, but I was having flashbacks of high school gym class.

My inner Mennonite was fighting with my inner child. Not a pretty scene.

Here's a snapshot from my teenage athletic career. The gym teacher is handing out awards for agility and sportsmanship. At the end of the presentation he calls me to the front of the class, shakes my hand and gives me a cracked ping pong ball for having the worst hand-eye coordination he has ever seen. (Of course that was nothing compared to the names he called the overweight boy with the bottle rim glasses. I shudder.)

But my inner Mennonite didn't give up. I called Curves, explained my phobia of exercising in public and made an appointment to meet with them. I was so afraid I would sit down backwards on the equipment or something and look goofy. Seriously, as they were showing me how to use the machines I felt like the fans were sucking me towards the exit. (I'm the reason they call it "resistance training.") It took all my concentration not to cry.

I'm guessing that's how some people feel about walking into a church. What if I laugh when I'm supposed to look serious? What if I sing when I'm supposed to listen? Or stand when I'm supposed to sit? What if everyone stares at what I'm wearing?

High school snapshot #2: I'm playing basketball. Someone passes me the ball and I actually catch the thing! I start dribbling towards the hoop. I have a clear path and no one can stop me. I think, "I can't succeed at this. That would completely mess up who I think I am." So I trip myself and land face down with my string of plastic beads caught in my mouth. My team groans, the bleachers roar and order is restored to the universe.

On the wall at Curves there's a stencil that reads It's not who we are that holds us back, but who we think we're not.

I've done a complete workout by myself three times this week. The moisture on my face was 100% sweat, 0% tears. No one stared at or criticized me. In fact, last time I ran into a friend and we did the circuit together. I feel more energetic and I'm checking my hips and thighs in the mirror with expectation. I'm actually starting to wish I could afford to join after my free month is over!

If there's something you've been thinking of trying, like taking a course, changing jobs, visiting a church, or dating a farmer, don't let who you think you're not hold you back. You might be pleasantly surprised.

You might even meet a friend.