Sunday, May 02, 2010

this life a reality, not a status symbol

When I post my day's schedule (such as: morning at daughter's clinic appointment, off to school lunch program shift, afternoon accompanying son on field trip, or: interview in the morning, interrupted by call from school, followed by coffee date with friend, digging in the garden, and watching the neighbour's kids after school) on Facebook, I feel misunderstood. I get two different reactions: either people accuse me of complaining about how busy my life is, or they think I'm bragging about everything I can accomplish in day. I'm doing neither.

I got anxious about dealing with confrontation, asking for help, talking to strangers, going to new places, making decisions, meeting others' demands, and trying things (eg. baking and gardening) that my mom is ├╝ber-good at in case I stink at them. As with anyone's life, (other than the part about following my mother's footsteps) often I don't have a choice. I need canned tomatoes, and I can't find them in the store, so I have to ask for help from a stranger, who may or may not be rude, and whom I may or may not decide to confront for it. I don't like rushing to appointments or interviews on the same day one of the kids needs to be shadowed on a field trip, or calmed in the principal's office after a meltdown, or rushed to the E.R. for a fluky injury, but I don't always find out about the field trip ahead of time, and well, no one gets advance memos about the others. I don't like being busy, wouldn't choose to busy, am not proud of being busy, but my kids don't ask me whether I have work deadlines before they have a crisis. This is just the way earning a living and maintaining a home, while caring for children with challenges, goes. I'm not complaining, I'm just sayin'. That's life.

So when I tell Facebook the demands on my day, I'm not looking for pity or admiration. I'm celebrating. Because, for someone who has to take a deep breath before saying "excuse me" to the shelf stocker, I done pretty good.


plaiditude said...

I have the advantage of living in the same house as you - so I get to see how difficult it is for you to approach strangers, rush around from appointment to appointment, all the while wondering "is the school going to call again today?" That vantage point often leads to awe in how well you deal with it all, so I will echo "you done great!"

Jennifer said...

I totally get what you're saying, my friend...on a bunch of different levels. Well said :)